Maybe we're just not meant to be
by X.Devils-Sweetheart.X
Summary: She's gone - and she's never coming back. Mac finds out that Stella's left - he calls her, is it too late for them? Too late for her to come back? Spoilers for 7x01. Enjoy.


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CSI writers are evil. Maybe I'm evil too? I tried to make it happy, I really did. But I thought it worked better this way. Once again - stupid, stupid writers. Get Stella back now.

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Un-beta'd so any mistakes are my own. (due to tiredness and sickness - stupid cold) Enjoy. :)

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_If this world is wearing thin__  
And you're thinking of escape  
I'll go anywhere with you  
Just wrap me up in chains_  
**Shakespear's Sister – Stay**

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By the time he found the letter it'd been too late. She'd already left. Well the letter had told him that she had – weather it was true or not, he did not know. She'd left it on his desk. Tucked right between his top two case files. She'd known that'd he'd find it soon – while he worked late at the lab – but not soon enough to stop her leaving.

That's what hurt Mac the most. The fact that Stella – the bravest woman he knew – had been so cowardice as to leave a letter and run away rather than tell him face to face in the chance that he might speak what'd they'd been hiding for years, and stop her.

She'd shown no signs of weakness – well none that he'd trained himself to see in her. She'd said nothing to him. Nothing at all. He was a detective for god's sake – he was trained to see things that people were hiding. But he just couldn't see through her – not any more.

He couldn't help but remember what she'd once told him _'Bravery is being the only one who knows you're scared'_. The quote suited her down to the bone – she never let anyone know what she was thinking or if she was scared. She kept her cards close to her chest – afraid someone would steal them away. But she'd always trusted him with them. Always.

He didn't know how long it took him to react. How long it took him to pick up that phone and dial the number she'd left him. All he knew was that his breath intake increased while he listened to the dialling tone. It took a couple seconds for her to pick up but her voice hit him like a familiar breeze.

"Bonasera"

"... Stell. It's me. Mac" he cursed himself in his head for sounding so stupid – of course she'd know who he was. It's not like she'd of forgotten his voice in the hours she'd not heard it.

A soft silence fell between them as he waited for her to reply. "Oh..." she managed before falling back into the silence.

"Have you, uh... are you there yet?" he asked softly – part of him not knowing the answer.

"Yes" she replied her voice almost a whisper. Neither of them spoke. In a way it was like they were in the same room - except this wasn't the comfortable silence they were used to – in fact, it was the complete opposite. "We never had our chance, did we?"

Mac's breath caught in his throat for a moment. He knew what she was talking about. She was talking about the tabooed subject of_ them_. "We just missed each other"

"Now it's too late?" she half questioned. Mac sighed in response – and both of them understood what it meant. "Well... good luck with being the boss – I'll tell you now, it's not easy" Mac attempted to joke. Stella laughed; even if it was only forced for him.

"It's proving hard already" she paused for a second. "Listen, Mac, I've got to go"

Mac leaned back against his desk – the phone pressed tightly to his ear. "Okay... I'll call you soon. To check how you're getting on" to be honest; he didn't know who he was trying to fool; he wasn't going to call to check if she was okay. He was going to call so he could hear her voice – to draw his strength from her.

"Mac... you need to move on. For your sake and mine" he could hear her eyes water and it killed him inside. She was all he wanted – and now because of his own cowardice he'd never have her.

"I'll try" he lied – she knew he was lying too but wouldn't confront him like she used to; she had no right to do that now. She'd run away from him – from the city – from her home. She'd lost all her rights to tell him what to do then.

"I'll love you Mac, till my dying day... but we can never be together. We both know that."

"I know" Mac sighed. "I love you too, Stell. I'll speak to you later. Bye"

"Bye Mac" she echoed back. Using all his strength; he removed the phone from his ear and pressed the end call button. With one smooth movement he dropped his phone to his side and walked to the door of his office. He slid the blinds down so no-one could see inside before walking back to his desk and collapsing into his desk. Mac leaned back in the chair as a silent tear slid down his cheek, and then another, followed by another. Before long his eyes were producing cascades of tears. He'd lost her... he'd lost her for good.


End file.
